Dual Interpretation
by Madhumalati
Summary: Set postSensui arc. When Koenma confronts Kurama over Gamemaster's death, he receives a shocking explanation...is Shuuichi and Youko's relationship what it seems to be? Maybe not. Not shounenai. Warning: fairly dark.


_**Dual interpretation**_

'Explain yourself, Kurama,' Koenma said. All traces of the bratty toddler or the coddled teenager was gone; what stood before the impassive redhead was the Prince of the Reikai. 'As I recall, under the terms of the parole you and Hiei were under, you were expressly forbidden to harm any human. Yet you killed a human – a child, at that, and in cold blood. You do understand that by Reikai law I have to take you in?'

Kurama nodded, still expressionless.

'You could have chosen another way,' Koenma said, almost pleading. 'Why did you have to kill him?'

'I didn't.'

That flat statement took almost everyone in the small audience by surprise. Kuwabara and Yusuke gasped, Hiei's eyes widened for a second and even Genkai looked taken aback. Shizuru's eyebrow arched over her perpetual cigarette, and Keiko was shocked. The entrance to the cave had fallen completely silent.

'I admit that Gamemaster's death was my fault,' Kurama said. 'Yet I also maintain that I was not the one to kill him.'

'But how?'

Green eyes narrowed. 'Youko.'

'What is that supposed to mean?'

'It was Youko who was there. He was in charge the entire night.'

'In……charge?' Yusuke questioned.

Kurama's shoulders slumped, a defeated look to them. 'It's not easy, being a melded soul. There are……parts of me……that are Youko, and some that are Shuuichi. I'm the dominant personality, Kurama; I have Shuuichi's personality, but with access to Youko's powers. Shuuichi is……' he smiled briefly, emptily– 'a gentle soul. He's sweet and caring and he loves his mother so much. He's the reason why I exist – why Kurama exists – to protect that core of humanity. But Youko……Youko is……something very different from Shuuichi. He doesn't know mercy, or compassion, or gentleness; he's a killer through and through. He doesn't care what he has to do as long as he gets what he wants. It's why I never let him out after the Dark Tournament. And even then, I only did it once, of my own free will; I would have died if I had faced Karasu in this form. I've been keeping him suppressed since then.' He looked up at Koenma, eyes filled with carefully reined-in emotion. 'But he's always fighting. Always just below the surface, and sometimes I can't……even Shuuichi can't keep him in control. His thoughts……' he shuddered visibly. 'So filled with hate and rage and lust. It's like drowning in blood. And I can't ever stop, because if I stopped fighting him he'd kill me.'

'Kurama,' Kuwabara whispered, shocked. He took a step forward, and the redhead waved him back.

'No,' Kurama said firmly. 'No. I have to say all this. Have to let it out. It's been so long since I could actually tell someone all this……'

'You don't have to,' Kuwabara said.

'But I do,' Kurama said. 'I know I'll be punished for what I've done, but I have to at least let you all understand why I did it before I'm taken to the Reikai. I won't die knowing you all think me a murderer.' He squared his shoulders, faced them directly. 'Ever since the tunnel began to open, Youko's been getting stronger. It's been hard for me to control him ever since the Dark Tournament, but with the Makai's energy in the air, Youko became strong……too strong……I had lost control even before we went to Mushiori City. I still don't know why he chose to support your cause – I had expected him to return to the Makai at the earliest. I can only conclude that he, too, seems to care for my human mother, and remained in this world so that he could protect her. But the entire time when we were battling Sensui's men, I was a prisoner inside my own mind. I knew what was happening, yes, but I was powerless to affect any of it. He made me watch, I think. I think he liked it, knowing I could see but do nothing.'

'MPD,' Keiko said. They all turned to look at her. 'Multiple personality disorder. It's when a single being has many people inside of him. Sometimes they can't control when they come out and they can't affect each other.'

'Like Sensui,' Kuwabara said.

'Something like that,' Kurama agreed.

'But if Youko was in control, why were you still in this form?' Koenma snapped. Of all of them, the godling was the only one who looked less than convinced. 'Explain that.'

'It's simple, really,' Kurama shrugged. 'For me to transform into Youko, I need the Fruit of Past Life. Without it, neither he nor I would be able to transform. While Youko managed to take over this body, he was restricted to my power levels, and thus unable to transform of his own will. Once in the Makai, however, he was able to do so. I felt him transform. It–it was horrible. Like being ripped apart and put back together again in some other form. I watched while he killed that boy, you know. It was horrible. I've killed, but never humans – only monsters that deserved it. He taunted him and terrorised him and all the while that child, that poor child, crying and begging……' his eyes lowered. 'I'll have to live with that. With the knowledge that maybe there was some way I could have let him live, and instead I could only stand by while Youko killed him so cold-bloodedly. I'll have to live with that guilt forever; that is greater punishment than anything you, Koenma, can give me.'

He looked up, and the brief moment of emotion had passed. 'Very well, then. I'm ready.'

There was silence. Kurama stood before them with quiet dignity, his eyes fixed on Koenma.

Strangely enough, it was the prince who now looked conflicted. 'Maybe,' he said, 'Maybe this really wasn't your fault after all. I don't think there's any way I can punish Youko without punishing you as well – and I don't want the death of an innocent on my conscience – but the death of a human……' He scrubbed a frustrated hand through his hair. 'If only there were some way to undo this, I would take it in a second, but–'

'That's easily taken care of,' Genkai said. 'You could always restore Amanuma's life with the Pacifier.'

Koenma's golden eyes brightened. 'Of course!'

'You might want to do it soon, before Enma hears of this,' Genkai cautioned.

There was a brief, uncomfortable pause after Koenma entered the cave again. The rest of them waited, all a respectful distance from Kurama. The redhead looked increasingly distraught before he excused himself and walked a few hundred metres away, his back turned to the cave.

Kurama looked up when he heard footsteps behind him, a tread he recognised, which was largely unwelcome. 'Shizuru?' he asked, combining a polite enquiry with an equally polite dismissal.

As always, the psychic ignored such subtleties. 'Not that it affects my opinion of you any,' she said around her cigarette, 'but would you mind clearing something up for me?'

Kurama tensed, almost indefinably. 'Yes?' he said.

There was a curious dark amusement in her eyes as she walked around to face him. 'The first time you were exposed to that potion,' she began and watched him like a hawk. Yes, he definitely flinched. 'If, as you say, Shuuichi and Youko were different personalities, then how did Shuuichi survive the potion? It would only have been possible if you two _were _truly one. Or else, Shuuichi would have died, leaving Youko alone.'

There was a long, dreadful silence. Then Kurama's shoulders began to shake, and when he looked at her she could see the amusement in his eyes, matching hers. 'You've found me out, I see,' he said quietly.

She shrugged. 'I guess so,' she said offhandedly. 'Nice one you pulled back there.'

'I take it you won't go telling anyone. I wouldn't,' he said casually, knowing she would pick up on the threat.

To his surprise, she laughed. 'Like I said, it doesn't affect my opinion of you any. You saved my life back there in the hospital; I'm not really bothered by who or what you are as long as you don't get in my way. Besides, I like your style.'

He smiled back. 'Thank you,' he said and meant it.

'So I take it there was never any Youko, then,' she said as she turned to leave, only to stop dead at his next words.

'Oh, Shizuru, Shizuru……what if there was never any Shuuichi?'

A/N: because Evil!Kurama never gets much showtime. And if anyone can tell me where I got the last two lines from, cookies! Hint: it's from a thriller novel which was made into a movie starring Richard Gere.


End file.
